Kneelers and a piano.

I had one of those super intense prayer times with God today. You know the kind where you just kind of throw up a whole lot of stuff and you don't know what you're supposed to do...either pray some more, read some scripture, or be still and hope that you hear something in the stillness? Yeah, one of those. It was hard. I was super honest about life and where my heart is aching with some hard situations. I asked for discernment and wisdom in how I would respond to what was going on in my life. All I got back during that stillness? More stillness.

I was in the Seminary prayer room. I don't take advantage of this room as I should. It has these awesome windows, some great pillows on the ground, a kneeler (I almost used it) candles you can light, and is just a great hide away.

It's hard to wait on the Lord when you feel pressed for time, huh? I feel like I have all these words and emotions and frustrations to get out, but I don't know where to start. I want to express back my love and trust, but they seem to be dismissed by the overwhelming presence of the other emotions.

I finally ended up in the chapel after 30 minutes of sitting, and sat at the piano. Somehow I feel that I can play my heart out to God when I can't say my words. They just flow through these notes that I play and I don't know where they come from. I am convinced that God hears my heart, my heart of love and trust and desire when I don't know how to voice them. I am convinced that God understands why I am frusterated, and he is saying to me, "Lisa, I understand. It's OK that you feel this way." I am convinced that through my obedience of coming to Him, He is honored in my seeking him out.

It was cool that I was able to end the day with I John 3:20.
"...We know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

So, that's it. Just a process in the journey.